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A Load of Old Rubbish

A Load of Old Rubbish

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Eastern suburbs ladies’ clubs

I was at a dinner party recently at a friend’s house in Tamarama and she was talking about her book club. I listened with interest, as I was fascinated that the whole ‘Opera Winfrey start your own book club’ notion had become so popular. My friend told me how they would get together at a members house and discuss the book they had all read whilst enjoying wine and nibblies.

She said that essentially they got together to have a chat and a glass of wine which was a highly civilised concept however I just wasn’t certain I would want to read the same book the group and would be the only member trying to track down the movie version before the next meeting. The more I spoke to my friend about the book club phenomenon the more clubs I was informed about. I did not realise I was one of the few Eastern suburbs ladies who didn’t have a club, group or meeting to attend.

‘The Hollywood Wonderland diet’

Alex a friend of mine was telling me about her low carb; high protein, no alcohol, sugar free, wheat free, no dairy, and zero fun diet. She explained the virtues of being on a purifying path to weight loss which sounded about as much fun to me as holidaying in North Korea. Alex had tried everything from the classic Aitkin’s and liver cleanse diets to the, ‘eat all things in the same colour’ diet. If she had picked Chartreuse instead of white that diet may actually have worked.

When your winter hibernation is sponsored by Cadburys it’s hard not to succumb to the pressure of getting it all off before the first beach day, especially when your local beach is Tamarama. Watching thin shiny happy people bouncing around playing volley ball with nothing wobbling can make even the most confidant person feel like Rosie O’Donnell in a G-String.

Have yourself a very thrifty Christmas

Christmas they say’ tis the season to be jolly’, however this years mantra should be ‘tis the season to be thrifty.’  Having yourself a very thrifty Christmas can be just as much fun as wastefully decadent one. Well I may be exaggerating a tad there but it’s important to get excited about being a tight wad. You need to embrace the cheap bastard within. Starting with the shopping for the festive season instead of going festive flavour food like hams, lobster, prawns and pudding think Martinis.

Martini’s are a great multipurpose fix it for many situations in life and Christmas lunch or lack there of is just one. A wise man once told me that Martinis are like women’s breasts, one is not enough and three are to many. If you work on the principle of three Martinis per relative in quick succession your lunch woes will be history. After three Martini’s they won’t know there own name mush less where they are or who you are, hence there will be no onus on you to provide them with any meal as you are just some random person at where ever hell they are of which they have no idea.

A Beachside Winter

When I started writing this column I began with a piece about the beginning of summer and the preparations I had to make to get my self in some sort of presentable order for the coming months of warm weather attire. I got myself plucked, waxed, sprayed and painted in preparation for martinis in bikinis. I was so excited by the thought of sunny days at the beach and balmy nights on my balcony overlooking Tamarama. Late afternoon swims with the family at North Bondi followed by barbequed seafood in the evening. Even the thought of a rogue mosquito dive-bombing my ear in the night fills me with nostalgia for the bygone days of summer 2007.

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